Being able to say, “Here is where I am struggling, and here is how it is affecting me,” is powerful.
Brian Owens
U.S. military veteran, Brian Owens, reflects on how honest conversation, trust and vulnerability are essential for sustaining hope. He contrasts past generations of veterans—who were encouraged to remain silent—with the healing power of speaking openly today.
The people I know who are hopeless are the ones who, when they feel weighed down, do not have the ability to talk about why. Either they cannot express what they are experiencing, or they do not have people they trust enough to speak with. We all get bogged down, no matter how hopeful we try to be, and the ability to have honest conversations is essential. Being able to say, “Here is where I am struggling, and here is how it is affecting me,” is powerful.
It also takes skill to recognize whether the person you are confiding in is truly able to support you. Sometimes you realize, “This is a good person for me to talk with,” and other times you think, “I need to take this with a grain of salt because this conversation is dragging me down.”
For my generation of veterans, one of the biggest differences from earlier generations is that we have been told, “You have to talk about it.” World War II veterans were told not to speak, because “no one would understand.” Korea and especially Vietnam veterans were often treated so poorly when they returned home that they chose silence, blending back into civilian life rather than sharing their experiences.
