Scripture:
Reflection:
There were things about my childhood that were difficult and even traumatic. In the hard work of coming to terms with them, I learned that when we are hurt or betrayed, especially if we’re too young to understand, we build defenses of anger, resentment, and fear as protective mechanisms. Over time, those defenses can become so thickened that the original wound remains hidden – imprisoned in the cell of our own making, where it lies unhealed.
Then, as we grow up, those defenses can easily trigger whenever our vulnerable selves sense danger, even if the danger isn’t real. We instinctively react out of those defense mechanisms rather than out of a whole and centered self. The longer these wounds and defense mechanisms remain unconscious, the longer our hearts remain imprisoned by them.
What I now know is that God so loved the world, and God so loved ME, that God became human. God, in the person of Jesus, endured deep betrayal, misunderstanding, abuse, and torture to the point of death. Yet Jesus did not build a prison of defenses around unhealed hurts and wounds. Instead, he maintained integrity and faithfulness to his mission of love, laying his pain at the feet of God and walking in trust. Of course, that doesn’t mean he always FELT loved and held by God, and in fact cried out his sense of utter abandonment. But even in those moments, something deep inside knew and trusted the Divine Presence and the One who gave him what he needed to endure.
That same One, the ever-loving, ever-present God is continually working to free me from my prisons. God is melting the thick cords of anger and resentment wrapped so tightly around my heart. In the process, my heart can expand, light can enter to chase away the darkness, the pain and grief can be given their due, and I can gradually heal.
What are your prisons? Can you allow yourself to genuinely, deeply believe that God loves YOU? In what ways are anger, hurt, resentment, and fear keeping you bound? Who can be a wise guide helping you to work with God to soften, melt, and release those bonds so love, peace, and joy can fully enter?
As we continue our journey through the Easter season, this is our task. Resurrection is not an event; it is a process. Healing is possible. Experiencing deep and true love is possible. Anger and pain can be acknowledged, safely expressed, and then released. God calls us to be free. Let’s keep walking on that path out of the dark prisons in our lives and into the light of our God.
Amy Florian is a teacher and consultant working in Chicago. For many years she has partnered with the Passionists. Visit Amy’s website: http://www.corgenius.com/.