Scripture:
Reflection:
As the hind longs for the running stream, my soul longs for you, oh Lord. Bring me to your holy mountain…. -Psalm 42
My soul has been in a dark place, Lord. I have been in what Fr. Randal called “the dry times of prayer”; the times when I reached out to You, my Father, but somehow received nothing in return. It seemed no matter how long or how hard I listened, I could not feel your voice within me. I needed Your counsel and peace so very much those past dimly lit days, as I struggled with the challenges of aging, injury and pain.
I feel ashamed when I think of the self-pitying visions of abandonment I allowed to grow in my heart during those empty times. Mea culpa, my Father. You are truly ever faithful. You answered my prayers in a way I couldn’t understand because it was not what I wanted/anticipated hearing.
Today’s readings show Peter answering his Jewish followers who criticize his actions in dealing with Gentiles. He relates his dream/vision that ended with a voice that told him, “What God has made clean, you shall not profane.” Peter answered them but they would not / could not hear his voice. Trials sent to me are made clean by You, Lord. I must not make them profane by reacting with anger or despair. Only You know the pathways we are destined to travel before we can attain entrance to your holy mountain, Your heavenly Kingdom. I beg your forgiveness for my lack of faith, my Father. Help me grasp that I must endure whatever is sent to me with patience and in peace, understanding and acceptance ~ I will seek You first to understand that the ragged rocks in the stream my soul tumbles over must be endured as they scour and sanctify me. Then may I be made worthy of the place You have prepared for me in Your Heavenly kingdom. Jesus and Mary be praised forever and ever.
Ray Alonzo is the father of three children, grandfather of two, and husband to Jan. He is a USN Vietnam Veteran and a 1969 graduate of Mother of Good Counsel Passionist Prep Seminary. Ray currently serves on the Passionist Alumni Council.