• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

The Passionists of Holy Cross Province

The Love that Compels

  • Migration
    • Statement from Passionist Leadership Regarding Current United States Immigration Policies
    • The Global Migration Crisis: What Can a Retreat Center Do?
  • Laudato Si’
    • Laudato Si’ 2023-24 Report and 2024-25 Plan
    • Ways to Live Laudato Siˊ
    • Sustainable Purchasing
      • Sustainable Purchasing Guide
      • Hints for Sustainable Meetings and Events
      • Sustainable Living Hints
    • Passion of the Earth, Wisdom of the Cross
    • Passionist Solidarity Network
    • Celebrating the Season of Creation
  • Pray
    • Daily Reflections
    • Prayer Request
    • Sunday Homily
    • Passionist Spirituality and Prayer
    • Video: Stations of the Cross
    • Prayer and Seasonal Cards
  • Grow
    • Proclaiming Our Passionist Story (POPS)
    • The Passionist Way
    • Retreat Centers
    • Passionist Magazine
    • Passionist Ministries
      • Preaching
      • Hispanic Ministry
      • Parish Life
      • Earth and Spirit Center
      • Education
      • Fr. Cedric Pisegna, CP, Live with Passion!
    • Passionist Solidarity Network
    • Journey into the Mystery of Christ Crucified
    • Celebrating the Feast of St. Paul of the Cross
    • Subscribe to E-News
    • Sacred Heart Monastery
      • History of Sacred Heart Monastery
      • A Day in the Life of Senior Passionists
      • “Pillars” of the Community
  • Join
    • Come and See Holy Week Discernment Retreat
    • Are You Being Called?
    • Province Leadership
    • Vocation Resources
    • Passionist Brothers
    • The Life of St. Paul of the Cross
    • Discerning Your Call
    • Pray With Us
    • Passionist Vocation Directors
    • World Day for Consecrated Life
    • Lay Partnerships
  • Connect
    • Find a Passionist
    • Passionist Websites
    • Fr. Cedric Pisegna, CP, Live with Passion!
    • Passionist Alumni Association
  • Support
    • Donate
    • Monthly Giving
      • St. Gemma Circle of Giving Intentions
    • Leave a Legacy
      • Giving Matters
      • Ways to Give
      • Donor Relations
      • Testimonials
    • Prayer and Seasonal Cards
    • Privacy Policy Statement
  • Learn
    • Our Passionist History: Webinar Series
    • Proclaiming Our Passionist Story (POPS)
    • Our Founder
    • History
    • The Letters of St. Paul of the Cross
    • The Diary of St. Paul of the Cross
    • Mission and Charism
    • Saints and Blesseds
    • FAQs
    • Find a Passionist
    • STUDIES IN PASSIONIST HISTORY AND SPIRITUALITY
  • Safe Environments

Daily Scripture, August 10, 2009

Scripture:

2 Corinthians 9:6-10
John 12:24-26

Reflection:

My husband died suddenly when I was 25 and our son Carl was 7 months old.  When Carl was almost 5, God gifted me with Ken, who asked me to marry him.  Rather than being elated, I found myself faced with a tortuous decision.  I knew with a clarity borne of suffering that we were both going to die and there was a 50-50 chance Ken would die first.  If I said yes, if I gave my entire life and my whole heart to him, I risked going through this hell all over again.  

I prayed and agonized over my decision.  Could my heart survive being torn apart a second time?  Could I expose my son to the risk that he’d have two daddies die?  If I said no I would lose Ken anyway. Yet it would happen immediately, when our lives were not so intertwined and it was easier to say goodbye.  I could stay safe and avoid the potential of profound pain.

And yet, saying no meant I would miss the potential for great joy.  I would be safe, but I would not be stretched, remaining a seed that refused to be broken open by life.  I would deprive myself and my son of the depth of relationship that can only happen when one risks it all.  I would be saying no to the cross, and no to the fullness of life to which God calls me.  Is that what I wanted for myself?  And is that the model I wanted to give my son?

With quaking heart I said yes.  Carl now has two brothers, Ken and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in October, and our family is rich in joy and love.  Yes, Ken will die, and there is still a 50-50 chance he will die first, but the pains of hell that follow will be more than worth it for the happiness we have shared.  In a very profound way, I had to lose my life, my sense of security, my desire for control, and the safety of the familiar in order to follow where God called. 

My decision of 25 years ago continues to inform my life as the challenge of risking, losing, and giving without measure is constantly present.  How often do I make easy decisions instead of stretching myself beyond what I think is possible?  In what ways do I try to control and hold onto my children instead of letting them grow away from me with freedom to become who God created them to be?  Of what situations, possessions, or attitudes do I need to let go?  How cheerfully do I give my time, acceptance, forgiveness, and love?  Where do I look for security, and how tenaciously do I cling when I think I’ve found it? 

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know these challenges will never cease.  I pray I have the courage to sow bountifully, give my heart fully, and lose the safety of my current life for the boundless love of Christ.

 

Amy Florian is a teacher and consultant working in Chicago.  For many years she has partnered with the Passionists.  Visit Amy’s website at http://www.amyflorian.com/.

Footer

Support the Passionists

Contact the Passionists

Name

The Passionists of Holy Cross Province
660 Busse Highway | Park Ridge, IL 60068
Tel: 847.518.8844 | Toll-free: 800.295.9048 | Fax: 847.518.0461
Safe Environments | Board Member Portal | Copyright © 2025 | Log in