Scripture:
Isaiah 40:1-11
Matthew 18:12-14
Reflection:
My recent retreat experience happened to coincide with reading a powerful book (I highly recommend Richard Gaillardetz’ While I Breathe, I Hope: A Mystagogy of Dying). Theycombined to challenge me to look at all the ways I identify myself and see how many of them will die when I die.
As scripture tells us: “All flesh is grass, and all their glory like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower wilts.” Does that mean the grass and flowers are not magnificent and life-giving? Of course not. They are good and necessary, but they aren’t eternal. As we entered fall, I watched as the grass gave up its green color, the flowers faded away, and the magnificently colored leaves fell to the ground in brown piles.
Likewise, my earthly life will end. My body will wither and fade away. My accomplishments will slide into the past. My life and love will remain within those I love as memories (hopefully fond, helpful ones!) Yet all of my possessions, accomplishments, outer appearance, and roles will die.
When I cling too much to my self-identity, even my identification as a loving and healing person, I can get offended, hurt, and angry when someone challenges or denies that identity. When I cling too much to my accomplishments, I get discouraged when someone else accomplishes more or else I assume I’m not worthy of love unless my accomplishments top the heap. When I cling too much to my bodily appearance or believe I must meet a certain standard of beauty, I am embarrassed by my increasingly sagging skin, ever-forming wrinkles, grey hairs, and changes that age brings.
It’s human nature to want to carefully craft one’s identity in the world, insist that everyone else agree with that identity, and hang onto it tightly. But it will all die when I die. What will not die? The radiant core of my true identity – my identity with Christ in God – the Spirit living inside of me – the little slice of the Divine that incarnated itself in my fleshy body – the eternal love that sets me free. In other words, what we call the soul. That’s the only thing that ultimately lasts.
So, this Advent, my focus is the incarnation – both the wondrous incarnation of the eternal God in the person of Jesus, and also God’s in-dwelling presence within me. I’m trying to let go of my deep attachment to the externals of myself and my life. I’m trying to spend at least as much attention on my inner being, my soul, and my identity in God as I spend on the external things that will die when I die.
What about you? With what external aspects of your body and life are you too deeply attached? To what do you cling even though it will die when you die? How can you re-focus your prime attention so you can give more of yourself to the things that last, to your eternal soul and your identity with Christ in God? If we can all do that, God’s love is free to shine through us into this world. Then we, too, can lives as Jesus did and participate in bringing the Reign of God to this earth.
Amy Florian is a teacher and consultant working in Chicago. For many years she has partnered with the Passionists. Visit Amy’s website: http://www.corgenius.com/.