Scripture:
Reflection:
Whenever I teach, I hope it makes a difference for attendees. Yet when they tell me how I touched or helped them, it’s hard to know what to say. We aren’t taught to accept compliments, even if well-deserved. We are taught to deflect or minimize them. Although we crave affirmation for ourselves and our work, we don’t know what to do with it when it’s given.
I wonder if even Jesus, human that he was, struggled with that. When the demon named him as the Holy One of God, Jesus quickly silenced it before he freed the man from possession. At that point in his ministry, was Jesus uncomfortable with the title bestowed on him?
Or perhaps he was uncomfortable with other people’s perception. Perhaps Jesus didn’t need affirmation of his worth or his special relationship with God, plus he knew that having his “fame” spread throughout Galilee was not necessarily a good thing. He didn’t want to be idolized; he wanted to be imitated. He didn’t want to be a celebrity; he wanted to be a model of what we all can be. Living out his mission could be impeded by such recognition.
I suspect there was a bit of both at play in this interaction. So, how do I balance that in my own life? I believe the first step is to unlearn my well-practiced tendency to base my self-worth on what others think. I too often use praise and affirmation to assure myself of my value and lovability. And of course, when I get the opposite, I feel demeaned and unlovable.
Instead, I need to center my worth as Jesus did – in my core identity and status as a precious, beloved child of God whom no one can demean or destroy. Human admiration, loyalty, and love can be so fickle. Only God’s love is unwavering, ever-present, and has nothing but my best interests at heart, even when the demons of past hurts and suffering arise and even with all my scars and imperfections. So, despite how insignificant and unworthy I can feel, I need to sit in prayer and simply let God love me.
Then I need to respond to that undeserved outpouring of love. I must keep God at the center of all I do and live out my own mission, trusting that I will indeed make a difference when my open heart allows the Spirit to touch others through me.
Finally, when I am praised, I can be grateful and accepting. It’s not boastful to sincerely appreciate the confirmation that I am serving as an instrument of God.
That all is much harder in practice than it is in writing. I may even have to start backwards – learning to graciously accept compliments that I can then take into prayer. Regardless, perhaps we can all work to believe in our core identity and value in God, and then help free others from the demons that prevent their recognition of the same in themselves. We’re all in this together with Jesus – lovable, precious, and sent to the world.
Amy Florian is a teacher and consultant working in Chicago. For many years she has partnered with the Passionists. Visit Amy’s website: http://www.corgenius.com/.