Scripture:
Genesis 44:18-21, 23b-29; 45:1-5
Matthew 10:7-15
Reflection:
When I was 3 months old, I weighed the same as when I was born. Although they eventually received a diagnosis and effective treatment, my parents were so afraid they would lose me that I became more precious in their eyes. When we were teens, my older brother and sister were rebels who caused no end of trouble. I didn’t want the consequences my siblings’ misbehaviors caused, so I became the one who, in my parents’ words and to their relief, “never gave them a grey hair.” When I was widowed at 25, my parents’ concern knew no bounds and there was nothing they would not do to help.
The unfortunate result of all this special attention was that many of my nine siblings were jealous, convinced that I was Mom and Dad’s “favorite.” Jealousy is a destructive emotion that divides family members, friends, community members, and nations. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt because of their jealousy, and modern-day wars are fought because of it. We all want to be #1, the best, the favorite, the top of the heap. Anyone who gets in our way, has what we desire, or doesn’t give us what we want is a threat that we must work against.
Most people claim they don’t feel much jealousy. Despite its presence, we perceive it as being “bad” and so we allow it to hide, meaning it often acts insidiously. It only becomes apparent when we dig deeper and ask hard, honest questions.
I have to admit that I can feel jealous when a speaker gets a higher rating or a bigger audience than me. I can feel jealous of people who travel extensively for leisure, or who are obviously financially secure. I can even feel jealous of someone I perceive as being farther in their spiritual journey, more easily able to quiet their mind in meditative prayer, wiser, and (at least in my eyes) more in touch with God. But, none of this jealousy accomplishes a thing.
So my prayer this week is first to ask the Spirit to show me the ways that jealousy is active in my life, wherever and whenever it exists. Then I pray to be given the grace, humility, and courage to turn any jealousy into delight for the other person and heartfelt prayers for their peace and happiness. That really turns it around!
Our relationships and our hearts will all be better off if we can recognize, let go of, and reverse jealousy. Are you willing to do so?
Amy Florian is an author and consultant in suburban Chicago who travels the country teaching about spirituality, grief, and healing. She has partnered with the Passionists in various ways for many years. Visit Amy’s website: http://www.corgenius.com/.