Scripture:
1 Kings 17:10-16
Hebrews 9:24-28
Mark 12:38-44
Reflection:
The story of the Widow’s Mite has often generated guilt within me. She gave everything she had, as did the widow who made food for Elijah even though she and her son were starving to death. Sometimes I worry that I give God my “leftovers,” i.e. making sure my own needs are met before donating to worthy causes and making sure I have time to do all that I want/need to do before setting aside time for prayer. These readings challenge me to ask whether I’m doing enough. The perfectionist in me says that I’m not. I’m not good enough or spiritual enough to please God. I always fall short because I’m not giving everything I have.
At the same time, just as God honors the little that the widow had to give, maybe God does honor the time I set aside specifically for prayer every day and delights in knowing I also strive to make my entire life and my every breath a prayer. Maybe God honors the fact that I could certainly treat myself or go on a trip with the money I donate to organizations I believe in, but I willingly give up those niceties and extras for a greater cause. Maybe God doesn’t require that I sacrifice who I am or literally give until I am starving.
But am I just trying to make myself feel better? That’s possible; it’s a human tendency to do so. At the same time, I know Jesus often holds up the ideal, challenging us to think, discern, and often change our behavior to be more in line with it. I also know we have a God of love who knows us better than we know ourselves, who is not quick to judge and condemn but covers us with mercy and grace. Finally, I know that my life is a journey of growth and awareness.
Perhaps instead of feeling guilty, which is only counter-productive and self-negating, I need to spend time in prayer this week to evaluate once again whether I can do more in at least one arena of my life. Particularly as we approach Advent, can I spend additional time in prayer, go on a weekend retreat, increase my financial giving, or do more volunteer and pro bono work? How can I get closer to the ideal of the scriptures, not out of guilt but out of gratitude for all that God has given me?
Will you join me? Where are you feeling that tug of guilt in your life? Can you work to instead respond to the overwhelming graciousness and love of God by seeing where you can do just a little bit (or a lot) more? Let’s work together to give of our time, talent, money, and energy as fully as we reasonably can, perhaps denying ourselves some extras or even some measure of basics in order to lift up those who need our help.
Amy Florian is a teacher and consultant working in Chicago. For many years she has partnered with the Passionists. Visit Amy’s website: http://www.corgenius.com/.